Christ our Brother - Tell mom I said, “Happy birthday!”

(Christ our Brother is a book I’ve been working on since my mom passed away in June 2017. This is a chapter in the book.)

November 6th will always be a day of remembrance and lament for those who loved our mom, Karen Joy Crain. November 6th, 1965 was the day mom was born. As this day comes and goes it always brings up a lot of memories and emotions that long that mom was still here with us.

Something I wrote the first November 6th, 2017 after mom passed away is below;

“Today is mom’s 64th birthday and she’s no longer with us. This is weird and I have no idea what to write or say. But I want to write something to honor a wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, mentor, etc. that loved so well. There’s a reason four hundred people show up at a wedding and it’s because as Steve said about mom’s name, Karen Joy she was pure joy. 

What’s transpired over the last six months has left us all shocked and grieving. I guess it’s going to be this way for some time now. It hits us at the most random times. This past week I was waiting on a friend for lunch and while waiting messaging a friend back in PA about mom’s gravestone. It hit me then that is now our reality. 

This is part of life and it’s hard. There will be no phone call this year to say a quick happy birthday to her. There will be no birthday card arriving a week late. There will be no birthday cake.”

I really believe that God is a present God through his son Jesus that was sent to this world and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. I really believe that God is present particularly in these difficult times. If there was one thing that I learned from mom, it was this, that Christ is always with us and at times whispers words into our spirit to know he’s present.

There was a spiritual practice that I started doing in 1997 in college that really drew me into God’s presence. After classes ended in college, I would go back to my dorm room and spend hours alone with God in the scripture and listen to the hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy”, and sing it as I enjoyed simply being with God in his presence. This was something that mom did regularly as she spent hours alone with the Father soaking in his presence.

There was a moment last year that something deeply mystical happened that I can’t explain. In leading up to a class I was about to teach online on a Tuesday night, I decided to go for a quick jog. At the end of my jog (I’m a very slow runner), I began to think about how much I wished that mom could hear about the work I was involved with around reconciliation as she knew God’s call upon my life and my passion for the church to be reconciled. I began to tear up longing that I could call mom and share this with her. I began to sing the hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy” as I ran as being in the presence of the Father helps me feel more connected to mom.

As I ran past Carver High School in our neighborhood I ran into two saints, Ms. Kim Bego and Ms. Sandra from the church we’re a part of in our neighborhood. We stopped and chatted for a few minutes and I began to share with them about what I was just thinking about. Ms. Kim, who’s the woman’s ministry director at our church and who has been a pastor to me over the years stood there and listened to the pain I was carrying. She then offered to pray over me.

Standing there in the parking lot of Carver High School being prayed over by two godly women, I felt the kindness of God. I experienced the Holy Spirit’s presence like a mother loving me so well. I was drawn even closer into relationship with the triune God as I sang, “Holy, Holy, Holy”, in my spirit.

So, as I sat this morning in the cold air of November 6th in the coat that Grandpa Newbury used to wear, I sang those words to the triune God and whispered to the Father, “Tell mom I said, “Happy Birthday”. I know mom is with the Father right now enjoying all the peace and beauty that heaven represents.