Christ Our Brother - Introduction

(Christ our Brother is a book I’ve been working on since my mom passed away in June 2017. This is the introduction to the book.)

There are some things in life that only a sibling can understand. A flight to Pennsylvania March of 2017 was one of those moments. We had just found out that mom suffered a TIA stroke and was rushed to the hospital on a Friday night by dad and Steve, our older brother. After mom stabilized, I decided to fly out Tuesday after a training I was invited to do for a group of non-profit leaders. 

I flew into Philly where Adam, my younger brother was to pick me up and we would drive together to Bumpville where mom was in the hospital. All five of us brothers and my dad were in a panic not sure what was going on. As I got off the train from the airport I spotted Adam waiting in his truck. He got out of the truck and we locked eyes and instantly started to cry and embraced each other with a hug. We hugged for a few seconds crying on each other’s shoulder and it felt really, really good. 

Why? 

Because Adam is my brother and he’s the son of the same mother and all of the pain, fear, frustration and panic that I was feeling, he was having similar feelings. Of course, everyone experiences death differently and in their own way, but what we were both feeling was very similar. And this is the beauty of having brothers and sisters. They feel the same types of things, particularly in losing a parent. 

As we watched mom slowly die over the course of those 2 1/2 months, what I experienced from God was a deep sense of Christ’s presence being with me as a brother was. The writer of Hebrews states it like this in the second chapter; “Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like them (like his brothers), fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of his people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” 

Through the incarnation of Christ, he became one of us; “he too shared in their humanity” and, “For this reason he had to be made like them.” Christ became like a brother and sister to us. Because Christ has incarnated himself into humanity, he fully feels the pain of what we’re feeling through the curse of sin. 

When we first moved to Historic South Atlanta in 2011 we began to walk closely with the young men in our community. It was deeply transformational to see the world through their eyes, particularly as young black men trying to navigate a world that was constantly and racially profiling them. We learned much from these young men, but probably the greatest lesson was how I presented the gospel. 

Coming out of a traditional Southern Baptist context in which the gospel presentation revolved around how bad we were, yet how much God loves us and thus sent Jesus to die on the cross for us to take away God’s wrath towards us, I realized this presentation of the gospel wasn’t that effective with these young men. (to be fair, I do believe this is an element of salvation, just not the whole picture). When I would share with these young men about how bad they were, but how much God loves them and had sent Jesus to die for their sins, they just looked at me like I had lost my mind. They had already developed a deep insecurity within themselves believing themselves to be bad, because this is what the world was telling them constantly. Hearing how bad they were again from a white pastor did nothing but instill that deep shame within them. 

So, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit I was drawn back to Hebrews 2 and the reality that Christ has come to be with us in our pain. He gets us, because he has walked in our shoes. This is one of the things that I love about black theology, is how much emphasis is put on the humanity of Christ walking with people through oppression. I come from a theological construct that placed a lot of emphasis on the deity of Christ as separate from our struggle. Both are needed. 

In an effort to share with these young black men about how much God loves them and want to be with them, I wrote a spoken word (with lots of help from Malcolm and Devron). It goes like this; 

Many who are in the grind, 

Wonder in their mind, 

Where is God in my suffering, 

Does he care about my testing, 

If he is love, then why is my life hell, 

At least that’s what the brothers tell, 

What does God mean to me? 

When I can barely see? 

Through all the hardships that befall me, 

It is in the midst of this despair, 

That God sends his son to show much he cares, 

That Christ has come as my brother, 

To fully feel the pain like no other, 

The pain of loss, of loneliness, of despair, 

A pain, which you cannot compare, 

But as a brother has felt it all, 

And his voice we do hear it call, 

For I am with you, it’s going to be okay, 

I will give you what you need today, 

For in the garden of Gethsemane, 

He felt it all even enough to bleed, 

He had been deserted, betrayed and spit upon,

In order to know how we feel when we are down, 

This is the essence of the incarnation, 

That he has taken on the flesh to feel the frustration, 

And by doing this it leads us to freedom, 

In order for his kingdom to come, 

For it’s not by our might, 

For he has come to give us sight, He has come as a brother, To feel the pain like no other, He has taken on our pain, To keep us sane.

As I began to share these words with the brotherhood of Thirkield University, I could see that it started to make sense. That Jesus was really with them in the pain and the struggle as a young black men. Yes, they needed to repent of trusting their own ways because of sin, but God really did love them and as Howard Thurman says, God is with those in a special kind of way who’s “backs are agains the wall.” 

As we watched mom die from March to June of 2017, I experienced a deeply mystical union with Christ as my brother. I experienced him weep with me, sit with me next to mom in her hospital bed, and walk with me at the Catholic retreat center next to Geisinger Hospital where mom would eventually pass away on June 8th. I experienced his nearness as I walked into the kitchen at the farm house only to walk into an empty room void of where mom normally stood doing dishes. I experienced his closeness at the gravesite and as I sat next to my dad at mom’s funeral. I experience it now as I fly again to see my brother Adam 5 years later, this time to celebrate his 40th birthday. 

After I spent the summer in Bumpville with dad lamenting mom’s death, we slowly immersed ourselves back into the neighborhood in community with the brothers of TU. On a Thursday night in October as we were meeting at Mt. Pleasant Baptist’s Church’s gym, we gathered in a circle as we typically always did to discuss the lesson. For some reason I felt led to read the Christ our Brother spoken word again to the brothers. I read it to them and after I said a few words, I sensed the Spirit say, “Danny, this was for you.” As I sat there in the chair, tears started to well up in my eyes seeing the goodness of God and his hand upon my life working on a theology that would come back to bless me and remind me that yes, Christ is present in all things. 

Christ is our brother and he is with us in the pain of life and that’s what this book is about. I wanted to write about all the beautiful ways I experienced the presence of Christ as mom died and the lessons I’ve learned in the years after her death. I hope this short book blesses you to experience the nearness of Christ in sickness and in death, but also in those sweet moments that God provides.